May 2012
“There will come a day — I promise you, and your parents as well — when the...”
– Joe Biden’s Emotional Speech to the Families of Fallen Troops
. (via ftmark)
At least I knew it was a mammal
Him: Isn't a dingo...like, like a flamingo?
Me: HAHA NO! It isn't birdlike at all!!!
Me: I really wanna text this person, but I don't know what to say
Me:
Me:
Me:
Me: *types* "isjemdlshrnkckabeidjnehd"
Me: That should do it.
“What a sad era when it is easier to smash an atom than a prejudice.”
– Albert Einstein
(via sirmitchell)
3 tags
I wish we said “fancy” in America. As in, “I fancy you.” It’s such a more agreeable term than “I have a crush on you.” What’s a crush? Like, I AM A BOA CONSTRICTOR AND I AM GOING TO IMMOBILIZE YOU WITH MY MISPLACED AND OBSESSIVE AFFECTION. “I fancy you” is like, you’re so shiny and glittery and I just want to put you on a shelf and look at you for a while ‘cause you’re fancy.
Oh you fancy,...
2 tags
I gotta introduce you guys to the newest member of my Cow Brigade later.
I think that means I’m going to make a video.
You’re gonna think I’m either 2039203920 times cooler or 23920301232948 times lamer.
Well, we’ll see. I don’t care. :]
iwouldnttradethemoon:
basically if you don’t talk to me first i’ll never talk to you
I will almost always talk to anyone first. The problem is, people often think this means I have a ~~thing~~ for them. I’m just friendly as shit.
Yep. Same.
Although I totez have a *~*~thing~*~* for everyone. ;]
“How do I keep my boobs from giving me black eyes?”
– A question on ChaCha from Tucson, AZ My answer was “uh… wear a sports bra, or hold them constantly.” Working for ChaCha is like working at a volunteer hospital in a hillbilly town. (via iwouldnttradethemoon)
3 tags
The Story of Katy and the Lost Child
Today, I saved a damn child.
This little girl was walking across the park and crying, mouthing “Mommy.”
So of course I went up to the girl, got a description of her mommy and figured out whereabouts her mommy was.
I start walking with the child towards where she says her mommy was.
She looks up to me and says “will you come with me to the playground to play?”
NO,...
The Story of Chimene and the Bunnies Fierce
Chimene and I are walking through the park, and we see a bunny.
Chimene gets all excited and begins to chase after the bunny.
A second bunny comes running after the first.
Chimene screams “OH SHIT I’M OUTNUMBERED!!!!!!” and runs away.
THE END.
